This is long so bare with me.
In August of ‘07 I made contact with an old friend by chance from working one single day at a local supermarket. She noticed my time card that was never thrown away, and contacted me. We became pretty good friends again quickly. We would talk online a lot, a few times a week. I was very good at making this girl laugh, and because she thought I was funny, she would send all of the stupid stuff I would say to her best friend. After a few months of this, her friend decided she simply needed to talk to me, so she IMed me one day and we hit it off immediately. At the time she had a boyfriend. I didn’t really care, I just liked talking to her. This was in early October.
So for two months, we would talk online every night after work. Then it became weekends too. Soon we would make plans to go online to talk. Somewhere in between all of this she and her boyfriend broke up, and in early-mid December we exchanged phone numbers. After about two weeks and quite a few several hour long conversations, she said "That’s it, I need to see you!" and we made plans for the next day (she only lived about 60 miles away). Those ended up getting broken, and we made more plans for… who knows when, probably the next week.
For the next two months, we spoke on the phone every single night, she would call me no matter what, sometimes just to tell me she couldn’t talk. I spoke to her friends over the phone, because they all wanted to know about me. I told all of my friends about her, even my parents – which is HUGE for me. But within those two months, she had made plans with me, and broken them, at least a dozen times. Yet she would call me like clockwork.
OH I need to mention within this time we met ONCE. She would frequently tell me things having to do with how to find her, like "This is the address of where I work," "I drive this model/make/year car, and I always park in this spot" or "I work from this time, to this time, in this department." It was fairly obvious she wanted me to come see her due to her busy schedule of work/school/work (her main excuse for canceling so much). So one day I visited her at her job, I called her before I left just to make sure she was ok with it, we hit it off, but ultimately only got to hang out for an hour, most of which was while she was working. We went to grab a coffee when she got out, she grabbed me and hugged me and all we exchanged some mushy junk, but I never kissed her. Stupid me. In the end she had to go home due to school/work/whatever.
So, in the two months since we’d gotten semi serious, sometime before Valentine’s Day, she dropped the L word on me. I said it back, and I meant it. After being disappointed for two months, I made her PROMISE to see me on VDay, even if just for one second. VDay came and went, but I don’t remember that day too well. I do remember fighting with her on the phone for canceling on me for VDay, screaming back and forth, drinking a 1/5th of Jim Beam by myself, and getting arrested for a DUI.
Immediately after this, we made up, I never once blamed her for any of it, even deep down, because I (thought) I loved her.
I went through four more months of broken promises. It had gotten to the point where I would say "So are you free this week?" and she’d say something like "Yeah, I’ll see you on Friday!" but when asked "What are you doing Friday?" "Oh I’m doing (xyz)"… as though we’d never made plans. After this happened several more times, and learning that several of the times when she said she was busy she actually wasn’t, I told her off, told her to leave me alone, and blocked her on everything possible.
So at this point, as a direct result of my dealings with this woman, I had no driver’s license, and no girlfriend because I’d turned down numerous advances from the many girls I talk to at work daily (college dining hall) and because of my job, I’m forced to take a two month vacation every summer.
It soon got very, very boring. But all the while I thought about her every single day. A few months after, in mid-summer, she began to send me e-mails, called me and left messages, and even made a new screen name/profile just to talk to me, all within a few days. Apparently she had been calling me every few days for the past couple months but her phone number came up as ‘private’ so I never noticed. I immediately "took her back," so to speak, as what I called my "Internet Girlfriend."
SO… we went through about six more months of the same stuff. We’d talk alot, she would make empty promises, but would sweeten the deal by sending me letters, and talking about gifts she had for me when we could finally see each other.
Finally, in the very beginning of February of this year, I gave her an ultimatum: See me in person within the next week, if only for one single minute, or we are done. She said ok, we made plans, and you guessed it…. she broke them.
Now this is where my memory gets hazy. I wasn’t abou
t to let go of her. Neither of us believed in such a thing as a "soul mate" until we met each other. We would joke about that quite often, and referred to each other as such a lot of the time.
Sometime soon after I’d given her the ultimatum, my younger sister had a stroke and almost died.
after about two weeks of hoping and praying, she got better. So I posted a blog to let people know where I was and that everything was OK.
The night before Valentine’s Day, SHE sent me an e-mail. it was something about how bad seh felt, etc.
I saw the color red, like a bull about to charge. I sent her one back. It wasn’t anything particularly mean, but i def said "DONT EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN"
Since then when I’m not angry about it all, I’m deep in regret. But mostly I just think about how I don’t think I’ll ever meet anyone like her ever again. Her one and only flaw was that she wouldn’t make time for me.
What heck could I possibly do to get her to see me NOW, and on HER time? Besides grovel? THX
Dear friend nleffinh,
Live as good friends but take time to complete your education with success to find a job and earn a living in your lifetime to feed yourself, your family members and your relatives as a human being on the earth.
The Holy Eternal Almighty God the Heavenly Father has given every man to accept a woman as wife and have sex within marriage.
Live with respect to your parents to grow up to the age of maturity and accept a life partner in a marriage relationship to create a family bearing children into the generations of mankind on the earth.
For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: (Holy Bible 1 Peter 3:5)
This may sound a bit strange…but I had a dream the ther night about my dads friend who has had cancer for a while.He’s bee completely healthy for about two years now, until I had this dream.He just walked by me and I said to him -