Dine for the Charleston

Parental Denial-Wedding Etiquette

The power of parental denial enabled them to pretend that she was still a practicing member of the faith, but we knew that they would become very upset if we didn’t have a ceremony that was at least nominally Catholic. Nonetheless, she wanted us to write our wedding vows. In short, we had to balance two very different things: a traditional wedding ceremony and a modern mindset where we were able to make our own promises. It wasn’t easy.

In the end, we compromised on the wedding ceremony. I didn’t like the public nature of wedding ceremonies, although I had no problem with the promise of commitment. We decided, then, that we would speak the standard vows in the wedding chapel , and say our own special wedding vows in private. That way, it could be a more sincere, intimate moment. I would say that neither of us were quite happy with it, but no one was so annoyed with the results that it would ruin the day. All in all, it was a pretty good compromise.

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